Friday, July 13, 2007

I wish i could fly

For the first 13-14 years of my life, I never thought. I believe in India, humans are not designed to do so. But since then, I started my life as a group of many. I was a singer, dancer, an archaeologist, an anthropologist, a doctor, an administrator and many more. Not only this I started having numerous qualities. I was not one in a multitude. I was the multitude.

But as life went on, the crowd started thinning out. My images started fading out. I am now left with only 3-4 of my favorite selves. There was a constant quest to know oneself and o quench the thirst of the remaining guys.

I always wondered the reason for happiness. would providing food and water to the remaining images suffice. Will it make them fly? Will it make them free if just for a little while? I tried. i tried but in vain. May be the recipe requires a secret ingredient!! I do not know... Probably they call it love.... I do not know... But the images still need all the care, respect and nourishment that they can get...

Nevertheless.... The quest remains.......

Have you seen Tendulkar playing?

I am privileged. I am elated. I am simply ecstatic. Today I witnessed miracles. I was not alone. What I saw was seen by the whole section A. Magic after magic after magic. Better than the front-foot cover drive of Dravid and even better than the back-foot Sachin's pull for 'Six' against Australia in Sharjah. Today we saw Dr. Ravi Shankar giving us 10 mantras of supply chain.
All those who came to this class found themselves closer to their real goal. I could see people having multiple orgasms after the 4th mantra.


From procurement to manufacturing to delivery, from info to material or money flow, from logistics to risk pooling to route planning; its all ingrained in our veins now. Believe me, BCCI should stop looking further now. We have found the best coach ever.


But wait!! What does this remind me off? I am one guy who always tries to draw parallels. This particular self confessed Tendulkar reminds me of Amitabh Bachchan, APJ and Chidambram. Not because this guy even close to the above mentioned celebrities in their respective professions.


My personal opinion- He is a piece of shit. But still he is relatively the better piece of litter we had at IIFT. Why do people then claim they are the BEST. Are they BEST? Have they proved themselves? No, I don't think so. The above mentioned people, have proved themselves but the common trait in all of them is humility. This is only lack of belief in one's own ability which forces people to claim.


Really!! How big a harm does insecurity inflict upon the mental faculties of an individual....

A Glass of Liquid

I am water. I am wine. I am bloody piss of a swine. Whatever I am, I am just lying still in a glass. The table might be different and so can be the liquid but it stays still. Never moves. Never Shakes. It never sends even so much so as a ripple. It just stays still, waiting for eternity. Absorbed in the liquid is years and years of tranquility derived from the system of nothingness.


We grew coz we had to. We ate and drank coz we had to. We read coz everyone did the same thing and it seemed an obvious choice. Now we are still living the way we do coz nobody ever suggested a better thing. Probably after years of training, I am now behaving like a horse with flaps on both sides of the eyes who can look and act only in one direction. Years of training has killed the human desires amongst us. We all have become trees of stunted growth. We are bonsais who remain static, ages and dies but never so mush so creates a ripple.


But I still am a glass of liquid (which one I don't know); ready to seep into soil. I still crave to make something grow.

Ultra Violence

Fuck. Kill. Shred. Rape. Mutilate. Dig into the heads of maggots, rip them apart. There are a million such emotions running through. The reason I believe is only one- self torture. Not so much as you want to hurt others but it has more to see and feel their pain in yourself.


I failed. I failed myself. I failed the system. But heck!!! hasn't the system failed me. No all I want is REVENGE. I was raped for 24 years. They all raped me. All I did for so many years was get myself educated. And amongst all, education failed me the most.


It tried to change me. Always. It always stole my ideas. It sat on ideas and waited for it to get rusted. Then it started shredding them. Ripping them. So much so that the dreams were left as a mere piece of illusion. It robbed me of everything I ever came up with.


I looked at people all around me getting oiled up to fit the grooves of an already running machine. Most of them know nothing about machines. They cant even make out the difference between two of the ilk. They are in no position to match their choice with desires. The more I think about what I have learned at school, the closer I come to the equation :

Is EDUCATION == RAPE???

Pseudos.....

Some shit. Some shit. But what the heck!!! I never related to any shit. A joke said by Eddie Murphy in his very famous show called Delirious (1983) comes to my mind. Mind you, the joke was for kids below 12 years of age. Once there was a bear and a rabbit who wanted to take a crap in woods. After they were done the bear asks the rabbit," Do you mind shit sticking to your fur?". He said "No". The bear took the rabbit and wiped his ass off. Now this is some story I can relate to. I will explain you why.


I look at pseudos everywhere. I look out of the window and see zombies making weird faces and gestures and giving false praises. When all their filthy minds can think of is how to fare better than the one they are praising. Obviously they see shit ticking to their fur but rather they all want to wipe it off with their colleague's fur and make their own fur look shinier.